Law Office of Stephen J. Bedor

Providing Effective Legal Strategies

Tips for co-parenting across the miles

Co-parenting can be tricky in the best of circumstances, but the situation gets even messier when one parent relocates to a different town. Given that children generally do better when their parents stay closer, relocation should only be done after much thought and planning. Co-parenting across long distances can work, however. Here are some tips for making the transition easier for you and your children:

  • The older, the better. The older the child, the better their coping skills are for handling a long-distance relationship with a parent. If possible, wait until the child is at least two or three before moving. In addition, you may have multiple children who have different needs, depending on their ages.
  • Adjust your parenting plan. Oregon requires a co-parenting plan, so you may already have one in place. You will probably need to make some changes to account for the move. If you have not reached this step, now is the time to discuss the best plan for your child. Be creative and flexible, but also be detailed. You may need to go back to mediation, or enlist the help of a parenting coach to help you work out the details.
  • Consistency is key. Children thrive on routine, and your child will fare better if they know what to expect from the situation. Keep your household routines, holiday and vacation plans, agreements regarding activities and social schedules for your child. Lay them out in your parenting plan and stick to them. Packing in advance and reminders the day before a switch will help your child mentally prepare for the change.
  • Staying in touch. We have a lot of options for staying in touch in our digital age. Be sure to include specifics regarding telephone calls, face-timing and e-mail in your parenting plan. These connections are no replacement for physically being together, however. Remember that your child’s relationship with both parents is critical to his or her development and emotional well-being. You should both make every effort to support each other’s relationship with your child, no matter whose home the child is staying at on any given day.
  • Communicate with each other, not through your child. Don’t make your child the messenger when going back and forth. Especially if you are having a disagreement. Keep your tone civil and away from your child. Remember you are in this for the long-haul. You may not be a couple anymore, but you will always be co-parents. Find a way to get along and talk through your disagreements.

Putting your child first

Your child’s needs may change over time, so keep the communication going. Moving may present a great opportunity and a fresh start for one parent, but for your child, this can be a difficult time. Following these tips will help you and your co-parent remember to put your child first.

No Comments

Leave a comment
Comment Information
Tell Us How We Can Help

Let’s Do This Together

Bold labels are required.

Contact Information

The use of the Internet or this form for communication with the firm or any individual member of the firm does not establish an attorney-client relationship. Confidential or time-sensitive information should not be sent through this form.


Privacy Policy

Law Office of Stephen J. Bedor

OFFICE LOCATION 4248 Galewood Street Lake Oswego, OR 97035 Toll Free: 877-611-6793 Phone: 503-212-4878 Fax: 503-699-1811 Lake Oswego Law Office Map